State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete:Any computer you own.
Microsecond:The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3:Apple's new Macs that make you say 'Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.'
GUI:What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced 'gooey')
Keyboard:The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse:An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy:The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer:A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and even on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.